How to: Be a Ninja and other details
by Dark Guard Productions
Summary: Well my life has just gotten interesting... Never wanted to end up in a situation like this. But hey! You make the best of what you got. Isn't the right Karama? Yeah but what are we to do now? Just mess with everything while staying alive of course! Can we blow up Kononha? Only if we can get away with it...
1. Chapter 1

**Slayer: What have I done…**

 **Judan: That's a good question. Why did you decide to make this story is one of life's great mysteries.**

 **Kurama: I think this'll be hilarious!~**

 **Shadow: That's not really the point here…**

 **Slayer: Oh well… now let's see… Welcome to a new story! This one is another by yours truly!**

 **Judan: Yes but it's more of like another extra story. Kind of like our Faunus and Courier one. However while this will have some serious moments, most of this story will be humorous.**

 **Shadow: Mostly because of an interesting ability we gave the main character. A new Kekki Genkai to be precise though he doesn't know it yet.**

 **Kurama: Ah yes… I'll enjoy this! Messing with Shinobi is always hilarious!~**

 **Hermit: Yep! Which brings in me! The man who will wreck the Naruto Universe!**

 **Shadow: Oh my gosh… What have we done! First it was the Mojave! Now the elemental nations!**

 **Slayer: Actually I'm pretty sure blowing up Malaysia was our first country we messed with…**

 **Judan: Oh yeah… I remember that now.**

 **Kurama: Can we blow up the leaf?**

 **Hermit: Sadly we can't…**

 **Kurama: Ahh…..**

 **Shadow: Okay… I think that's enough for now. So Kurama… care to do the disclaimer?**

 **Kurama: My pleasure!~ Now we here at the Dark Guard productions own nothing but OC's and reality building concepts. Everything else belongs to their respective owners. Now without further ado…**

 **Everyone: Here's the story!**

Hello= Regular talk

 **[Hello]= Kurama out loud**

 **{Hello}= Kurama's thoughts**

 **(Hello)= other Biju**

' _Hello'_ _Hermit talking to Biju with thoughts_

 _Hello= Hermits Thoughts_

" **[Hello]** "= Kurama and Hermit talking

(J/N)= Judan Notes

(S/N)= Slayer notes

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

Introduction

A man with long white hair wearing a blue outfit with a green vest one was currently ranting to me. He also had a blue bandana with a silver plate attached to it. On the plate was a leaf with swirl making up its body. He was saying something about me being the Kyuubi… or something like that.

 **[You know I find that rather offensive…]** I couldn't help but to agree with the one who spoke.

' _Yeah I know, I mean I'm not nearly as big as you are, or as strong for that matter. Truly I'm like a toothpick to you.'_

 **[So true…]** Shaking my head I looked back at the ranting man, otherwise known as Mizuki. A chunin of the ninja village I live in.

' _Ah… that's right! Our audience doesn't know what's going on right now do they?'_

 **[No… I don't believe they do…]** Thinking quickly I snapped my fingers freezing the entire area in time before looking towards you.

"Sorry about that, it's been a while since I've done something like this."

 **[Or ever done it for that matter…]**

I nodded my head in agreement before continuing to talk to you. "Yes that is true Kurama, but what else do you expect? Still I believe introductions are in order… first off my name is not Naruto…" I made a small face before continuing. "Or well it is to everyone else, but that doesn't mean it is. But it's not like I can go around telling people that I somehow possessed their blonde loudmouth… Or at least I think I am… My memories a bit hazy about that actually. Still you may call me Hermit since my real name was lost in the wind."

 **[Or in that empty crevice you call a brain.]** I couldn't help but sigh at my partners cruel words.

"Yes Kurama… my empty crevice…" I paused for a second coming up with something before speaking again. "You know what… I think this'll go must smoother if they could see you as well." Saying that I snapped my fingers, there was a large puff of smoke covering not only me but the whole area. When it cleared I could now be seen sitting on the head of a giant red-orange fox. He was smiling with sharp white teeth, and had nine tails flailing behind him. He also had rabbit like ears on his head, and humanish type paws. His ears and tails were also tipped in black along with his lips.

"Well folks this is the giant furball sealed in my guts... Or at least Naruto's… Still this is Kurama the nine tailed fox, and my partner for most things in life." Kurama grunted before speaking.

 **[Yes and I'm sure all of you are wondering… just how all of this happened right? Well it's a bit of a story… but you might as well sit down and listen to it.]**

I quickly interjected once he was done. "Or better yet just turn to the screen right behind us, otherwise known as the background of the scene you're currently looking at." After I was done speaking I once again snapped my fingers, before a new picture appeared on the background and everything around it turned dark.

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

When I first began to regain consciousness I felt strange, as if I was floating on water. This is something I don't think most people would expect to be feeling… after they died. Yes I am dead… or at least supposed to be. No don't pity me… that's the last thing I need; I mean people die all the time right? Right? Ahem… well still I'm dead, as such at this moment I'm not supposed to be feeling anything. Or maybe I just happened to be sent into the afterlife. This could mean two things, one I'm in hell… not a very happy prospect. Or secondly I'm in heaven and am floating on a lake, while my dear dead friends and family wait for me to awake.

Really there was only one way to find out. So forcing my eyes open I looked around only to be…

"This is disappointing… I mean if this is what hell is like than I'm in for a pretty boring eternity." Based on what I could see I was in some kind of… sewer. Not just any kind of sewer but a stone sewer with rusted pipes running along the top, with a few running down the walls. Looking down I could see the water I was lying down in. "Eww… great just what I needed." Hey don't judge me… sewer water isn't the most clean liquid.

Still I decided that standing around doing nothing wasn't very productive. So I just started walking forward in hopes that I'd see something eventually. As I walked I tried to remember how I got here. Only to find that I couldn't remember how I died, or even why I thought I was dead to begin with. I just kind of had a feeling that I was dead.

Not exactly the greatest feeling to have I can assure you. But I guessed that waking up drunk would probably be a lot worse. Also not sure how I knew that, but for some reason I just had a feeling… As I pondered on my new situation I eventually made it to a large open room. It was a fairly tall room, at least three hundred yards up. It was also at least six hundred yards wide. But the thing the really got my attention was a giant gate made out of rusty bars. It had two doors that were closed together, with what looked like a large piece of tape keeping them that way.

The tape also had something written on it; unfortunately it looked like it was in Japanese. Not a language I'm intimate with. The languages I was closed to are English, partial French, and Latin. Which is funny since it's a dead language but I thought it'd be fun to learn. But now at this time I wished that I'd learn Japanese instead. Still the bars looked wide enough for me to pass through. So I shrugged my shoulders and made my way forward.

Now imagine my surprise when I saw a giant nine tailed fox thrashing about in rage.

 **[Curse you filthy humans! When I break out of here I'll kill you all! Especially you Madara!]** Yeah he didn't sound the happiest, so being the obviously kind person that I was I spoke to him.

"Hey what seems to be the problem?" Not realizing that someone was talking to him in his anger he answered me.

 **[I was sealed away again! First I was controlled by the detestable Madara and that filthy sharingan of his. But then I was sealed away again, but not just in anything… but a freaking Kit! A new born child!]** I couldn't help but agree with him that did sound pretty bad, so I gave my condolences.

"I'm sorry to hear about that man, I also doubt this cage is helping matters. Nor this freaking sewer system, it isn't the greatest place to live." The fox stopped thrashing around before sighing.

 **[Yeah but it beats being tied… to a… rock….]** He finally realized he was talking to someone this whole time. He (I assumed it was a he at least) robotically turned around to face me. I on the other hand just waved at him while smiling.

"Hi!~" He just stared at me taking in my appearance. I had brown hair, with tan skin. My eyes were brown, and I had a slightly rugged face. I also had a nice athletes build, and was wearing black slacks, and black boots. I was also wearing a grey high collared sweater.

Then after a few more moments of staring he spoke. **[This is an unexpected circumstance...]** There was another pause for a long time before he started screaming. **[What in the name of my father is going on! Were you sealed in here to? No that's not possible you'd be over here on this side of the seal… But that doesn't explain how a fully grown human is in the mind of a newborn. Maybe one of those blasted Yamanka's? No they have blonde hair…]**

It was at this time that I decided to interject. "As much fun as it is watching you as you try to guess who I am… perhaps it'd be easier just to… you know talk to me? I mean I'm kind of in a similar situation as you here." The fox looked at me before sighing and nodding his head.

He then spoke with reluctance. **[I suppose you are correct… even if you** _ **are**_ **a human we're still stuck in here. So tell my who… your hair is turning white…]** Blinking in surprise I reached for my head in panic, before looking at my reflection in the sewer water. And sure enough what he said was true… my hair was now snow white. Now it was my turn to freak out.

"What in heaven's name is going on! My hair was brown… now it's white! Could it be a side effect from being in here? No then the fox would have white fur… actually I think he'd look cool in white… no stop getting distracted!" I continued on with this until Mt. Fluffy yelled at me.

 **[Get it together! We'll figure out what's going on later! For now let's just talk about why we're both in here.]** Looking at the giant fox I sighed but nodded my head. Thinking I started first.

"Well first off thanks for snapping me out of that. Second my names… uh…" I scrunched up my face trying to remember while the fox looked at me confused before speaking.

 **[Yes… your name is what?]** After a bit I chuckled before scratching my head.

"Sorry but I can't remember… so just call me Hermit for now." He nodded his great head while looking at me skeptically. But I still continued forward. "Now as I was saying I'm not exactly sure how I'm here, only that I know I'm supposed to be dead. But judging by the look of this place, and the way you said seal… well I guess that's still a possibility."

He nodded his great head before speaking. **[Well my name is Kurama, now I usually don't give my name out. But I believe this situation warrants it. Anyway about you being dead… that's a good possibility actually. You see I was sealed in here by the use of the shikifuin. A seal that calls upon the Shinigami to seal another away, at the cost of the user's life. So it is possible that there was a slight error and you ended up in here. That would also explain why I can't…]** His eyes widened as he realized something.

Seeing his face I couldn't help but question him. "You can't, you can't what? Come on spit it out man!" Shaking his head he spoke.

 **[First don't tell me what to do. Secondly I can't feel the soul of the one originally inhabiting this body. However I do feel as though you're the one in control.]** At his words we both blinked as we realized the implications of his words… then we did something at the same time.

" **[AHHHHHHH!]** " Yep we freaked out because currently I was a spirit inhabiting the body of a newborn. With Kurama as a passenger along for the ride… It was going to be a very long first few years…

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

 _ **Seven years later**_

You know waking up in my crummy apartment I couldn't help but think back to that time seven years ago.

' _Man was I right about that being a long time… I mean seriously! I think I've been traumatized for life! I mean breast feeding? I'm a grown man for Kami's sake!'_

Kurama snorted before speaking. **[You think you had it bad? I'm a freaking giant fox Hermit, and because of this faulty seal allowing me to see, and hear everything you do… I've learned more about the human body than I've ever wanted to.]**

I had to concede to his point but I had one final thing to say. _'Yeah… but at least we now know the best way to break one!~'_

 **[Hmm… I once again have to agree to your point. But still it's time to wake up and go to that pathetic place they call an academy.]** I sighed but agreed with him. Now it wasn't as if I had anything against the academy building itself… no I had everything against both students and teachers… I mean seriously?! All but one of the teachers hated my guts thanks to Mister Fuzzy. It's not even his or my fault! Plus don't get me started on how much I hate it when people call me Naruto Uzumaki! I'm Hermit darn it!

Okay sorry about that little rant. Let me explain a bit… Now over the course of these last seven years I've learned a few things. One how to control the body I currently inhabit. Two I've learned where I am, which was in the hidden leaf village or Konoha, one of the five "great" villages in the elemental nations. I say it "great" because this place has been known for not just producing extremely powerful ninja. But also for producing mass perverts. Trust me almost every older male ninja is a pervert in this village.

Thirdly I learned the name of the body I accidentally took over. His name is or rather was Naruto Uzumaki, born on the day that the Kyuubi attacked. But as I said it wasn't Kurama's fault. No there are a few other things, like this body originally had blonde hair. But like the body I use in my inner mind… it to had turned white. This freaked a lot of people out when it happened. Something I wished I could've seen, but I was still talking to Kurama at that time.

Now though this body had lightly tanned skin, some good muscle for its age, and a head of slightly slicked back white hair. It was also about three foot nine in height. It also had blue eyes and six whisker marks, three on each side of his cheeks.

The fourth thing I learned was who the leader of this village was. Hiruzen Sarutobi, one of the few people who didn't hate my guts. The others are my favorite teacher Iruka Umino, and Teuchi and his daughter Ayame Ichiraku. They owned a ramen stand which was actually pretty good. I also must say that Ayame was actually rather cute, but with this being a seven year old body… well I didn't have much of a chance there.

Now for the most important thing I've learned. You see after easily changing my mindscape (the place I was in originally) into a giant an exact replica of Konoha. I then explored a bit further and found out that all my memories were stored into different sections in the library. And since if I focus I can freeze time for a bit in there, I can easily look up any information that I've learned. Me and Kurama also spar and use the village as a testing ground for anything new. This allowed me to increase my spiritual energy, thus making my chakra denser.

Oh yeah… chakra… almost forgot about that. You see in this world people can use an energy called chakra. Now chakra is a combination of physical and spiritual energy. Physical is increased by actually training the body, and spiritual is usually increased with meditation and experience. However me and Kurama as I said bypassed that, by taking out our frustration on the village we created. Trust me it was really fun to destroy the academy with a giant fireball!~

Which is something else chakra can do. You see chakra can help but increasing physical strength and speed. But you can also use it to preform Ninjutsu, Fuinjutsu (my personal favorite…) Genjutsu (My second favorite), and a multitude of other "jutsu". Which is basically this world's word for magic… really that's the closest description that I can give.

Of course in order to perform these "jutsu" one needed to use hand signs and train their chakra. Another thing we bypassed by basically training my chakra control since I was an infant. I also swear it wasn't me who set the Hokage's hat (The title for our village's leader) on fire when I was one years old using a fireball. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly a hater of mine. So yeah chakra is amazing, you can walk on walls, water, teleport, replace the Hokage with a potted plant inside the women's bathhouse… I still wasn't the one who did that honest!

Still that doesn't compare to the infinite awesomeness of my partner! Now Kurama is what one calls a Biju, or a tailed beast. And he's the strongest of them! He is literally a mass of pure infinite chakra. He's also been alive since the beginning of Ninjutsu so he has plenty to share with me. My personal favorites are my own of course!~ You see I'm kind of a genius when it comes to making new jutsu. For example… genjutsu one of my personal favorites. You see it is all about illusions. Now normally it affects only one to three senses of the human body. But I've made some that affects all of them!

As for Ninjutsu and others… well I'll get into those later. But for now…

 **[Get you but in gear!]** For now I had to get ready for another day at the academy… So throwing off my blanket I went about trying to get ready. Now my apartment isn't that large. But since I'm only one person and I only really eat and sleep in it I'm fine with it. I got the apartment after the stupid matron at the orphanage threw me out. Needless to say she was rightly punished and I was given this apartment. Another fact is that I pretty much own the building. Mostly because when I moved in everyone kind of moved out. Not that I care about what they think… or what anybody really thinks for that matter!

Sighing at that thought I got dressed in my… clothes…

 **[I can't wait until we burn this… this monstrosity!]** I couldn't help but agree with him. Currently I was wearing an orange high collared jacket with some blue stripes on it. I was also wearing orange pants that stopped above my ankles. Then on my feet I was wearing blue sandals.

Now some of you might be wondering why I would wear such a thing… well the reason is simple. I not only use it for training my stealth, but also to throw most people off. I am a ninja after all, the more someone underestimates me the better. That and everyone overprices me for everything. Something easily fixed with a henge or transformation jutsu. Still I had a mask to keep up, which was my happy go lucky idiotic mask. Something I only took off when I was around jiji (gramps) the Hokage, and the Ichiraku's. You know I'm actually quite cynical and sarcastic. Well mostly sarcastic as you've no doubt seen.

But back to reality… sitting at my round table I quietly ate a bowl of cereal, along with toast and an egg. Simple yet affordable and filling, it would at least give me the energy needed to get through todays torture. Now normally I'd just send in a Kage bunshun or shadow clone. But today is taijutsu sparing, or hand to hand combat. And a clone would pop into smoke in a single hit.

Although taijutsu, is something which I'm not too bad with outside my mask. But with said mask I have to fight sloppy, and sloppy… is something me and Kurama hate. Still my preferred fighting when it comes to melee combat is kenjutsu or swords. I have a very specific style for that, and for long ranges I have a variety of ninja equipment. Such as kunai, shuriken, and senbon or throwing needles.

But I usually prefer my hand crossbow. Something I came up with to allow me more accuracy, and power besides throwing the darn things…

Now finished with breakfast I grabbed my school supplies and went to the door. Then taking a deep breath I put on a smile and exited the building.

I then yelled out with all my lungs strength… "Datteboyo! Todays a new day for Uzumaki Naruto!"

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

 _ **Four years later**_

I couldn't help but stare at what I've found. They were aliens… they couldn't be anything but…

 **[Oh my father… did… did their eyebrows just move?]** I took a breath before speaking to my foxy friend.

' _Yes… indeed they did…'_ Now let's back up to a few minutes after the academy let out. I had once again got beat up for asking out the pink haired, banshee, Sasuke fangirl Sakura Haruno. Though I really only did this to keep up the mask, not to actually get a date with the worthless kunoichi. And really I'm not saying that to be mean either! She may be a genius in theoretical work, but actual physical stuff… she was worthless. And anyone could do theoretical work. Okay maybe I'm not the best example since I can easily just call up any memory I want for the right answer… but still my physical strength was nothing to besmirch either!

Still back to the situation at hand. After taking the beating in what I call endurance training… ahem. I had left the academy to train myself the way I wanted to. As I usually do after the academy ends. I had started to make my way over to the forest of death… yeah awesome name but yet quite justified… when I ran into a couple of aliens…

Now they had bowl cut hair styles, thick caterpillar eyebrows, green skin tight spandex suits, and their headbands signally them from the leaf village around their waists. Now there was a tall one with a flak jacket on and a smaller one, a year older than me without one. The true predicament started when they spotted me.

The adult one spoke first. "Ahh! Isn't this a youthful surprise! If it isn't the youthful Naruto Uzumaki! Now what brings you here this youthful day?!" Both his yelling and catchphrases were getting on me and Kurama's nerves. So much so it quickly broke my mask and my happy go lucky face, turned into one of annoyance with a twitchy eye.

Still I managed to speak cordially. "I'm just on my way to train sir, the academy just got out and I thought to spend my time improving my skills." It was really the wrong thing to say as that got them both to get a fire in their eyes… no really their pupils became fire!

The tall one still spoke though. "That is truly youthful! My name I Might guy! Konoha's green beast!" He then gave me a thumbs up with a smile that made his teeth flash. It was then that smaller one spoke.

"And I'm Rock Lee! The handsome devil of the leaf!" he then did the same thing as his sensei or teacher.

 **[Oh Kami! Can we just kill ourselves! I can't deal with this anymore! I should've just let the fourth kill me!]** Trying to calm him down I spoke.

' _Calm down my friend we just need to find a way out. Maybe our teleportation jutsu will work?'_ Of course while my stratagem was going on the other two kept talking. The last one to speak was Lee.

"Now why don't we join you for your youthful training?!" That snapped me out of my thoughts, and then I said something that haunts me to this day.

"Huh did you say something?" Both froze at my words, but then they started crying as Guy spoke.

"No it cannot be! How could Kakashi's hip cool attitude infect someone he's never met?!" Lee picked up his words after that.

"It's impossible and yet there is no other explanation for his un-youthful words! Guy sensei it is terrible!" Sniffing Guy yelled out his student's name.

"Lee!" Then Lee called out his name.

"Guy sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Guy sensei!" They then hugged each other in such a way that it burned my eyes. It was a genjustu there was nothing else it could be. They were hugging with a picture of a perfect sunrise behind them. Me and Kurama could only say one thing…

" **[AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!]** " We screamed as we tried to claw out our eyes. I even tried to dispel the illusion but I just couldn't! Which was impossible! With all my training and Kurama I should be immune to all but two genjutsu. And they were both cast by the freaking sharingan! Still survival instincts kicked in and I flashed away. And I didn't stop blinking until I was inside the forest safely away from _that!_

You know it's bad if you feel safer in a place called the forest of death than out there with… I don't even want to talk about it!

 **[Hermit we must do everything we can to avoid those… creatures from here on out!]**

' _I couldn't agree more!'_ We then both sighed before continuing to talk. _'Alright! Now we've already finished off our experiments with Hyouton or ice release. Maybe we should start on that technique that I thought up while watching your Bijudama?'_ Kurama seemed to mull over this before coming to a decision.

 **[You know… I think it's about time we did that. After all if you're going to stand a chance against my siblings, it will be needed. Now how did your idea go again?]** I couldn't help but grin as I started to explain.

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

 _ **One year later graduation**_

It was time… it was time to finally get rid of this mask I wear and become a genin, the lowest ranked ninja sure but still a ninja. At least that's what I thought until I thought up an issue…

' _Uh Kurama… how will we know who our teammates will be?'_

 **[Uh… just ask Iruka?]** I nodded my head in agreement before looking around the classroom. It was set up in rows, which could fit three people in them. They went all the way into the back and were split into three sections. The classroom itself wasn't too big, but it was able to fit all the students. Still it was graduation day and everyone was excited, except for the emo named Sasuke Uchiha.

He was the guy always brooding next to a window seat. He had black hair in the shape of a ducks but, and had black eyes. He was also kind of pale, and wore a high collared blue shirt with white arm warmers. He also had on white shorts and blue ninja sandals with bandages around his ankles. He actually used to not be that way… until his older brother went psycho, and murdered his entire clan except for Sasuke. I remember that night very well… seeing how I used that time to steal… I mean borrow a few scrolls from their library. As well as take a few sharingan eyes from them. I didn't plan to implant them into my head.

But I wanted to find a way to make myself immune, to the genjutsu the eyes could cast. Unfortunately I wasn't successful. Still now the Uchiha was a giant prick, with an ego the size of the village, and a giant stick up his but. Shaking my head I turned to the front of the room, which had a desk and a chalkboard behind it. Luckily it was just in time for Umino Iruka my favorite teacher to come in.

Now Iruka was a nice guy in his late twenty's, with brown hair styled to look like a pineapple. He also had a scar right over the bridge of his nose, extending to right under bother his eyes. He was also fairly tan and wore a blue Shinobi outfit with a green flak vest over it. He also wore blue sandals with bandages around his ankles. He also had a mesh suit underneath his clothes. Utilizing the commotion I quickly spoke to him.

"Hey sensei mind telling me how we get our squad mates?" Looking over to me he smiled before speaking.

"Sorry but I can't tell you that, just know that your scores will play a part in it." It was the wrong thing to say to me.

 _Oh my kami… we're going to be on Sakura's and Sasuke's team!_ Of course Kurama spoke up at that thought.

 **[And just how did you come to that conclusion]** I quickly answered him.

' _Simple really… I have the lowest scores in the class. Albeit purposely, while Sasuke and Sakura have the highest. Though just barely for Sakura since she's mostly brains… well barely that really.'_

 **[Oh my father… you're right!]**

' _I know! Really I think I'm the only student in academy history who's actually about to fail on purpose!'_

It was time for the jutsu portion of the test. Still I sighed as I stared at those grading me. It was Iruka and Mizuki; someone's who's always given me a weird feeling. Right now I'm being graded on my ability to perform the three academy jutsu's. They were the Henge, substitution I would say the Japanese name but I'd probably butcher it, and the bunshun jutsu.

That last one was like the Kage bunshun, only they made illusions. Instead of physical clones that gave me their memories when dispelled by a hit. Me and Kurama usually made a few in my mindscape, before making them henge into different people, and then having them scream and run in terror.

As I said it was very therapeutic… Still it was time to enact plan… not get on team emo banshee! In other words I purposely messed up the bunshun. Instead of making at least three reliable copies… instead I made a single dead looking one. Trust me it wasn't pretty…

Seeing that Iruka spoke up. "Sorry but I can't pass you Naruto." Inwardly cheering I was surprised when Mizuki spoke up in my defense. Which ironically caused me to curse him.

"Look Iruka, he may not have done it perfectly but he did make one. Not to mention his henge and Kawarimi." _So that's how you say it…_ "Was flawless." Sighing Iruka spoke again.

"Sorry but the other students were able to at least make three. Naruto could barely make one and it's pitiful, I can't pass him." As I left the room at those words pretending to be upset, none of them noticed my smirking face.

Outside of the academy I ended up on the roof, as I watched the other students get congratulated by their parents. Well except Sasuke who left in a hurry, more than likely to go train. I at least had to give him an A for effort in that regard. Still I wasn't exactly broken up at not having any parents. I mean I technically already grew up with them. Yet here I am in someone else's body thanks to a slightly faulty seal. Really I wasn't reincarnated, more like…

 **[Accidental identity theft?]** I couldn't help but chuckle at his joke. It was after all fairly accurate.

I then felt a presence behind me and I turned to find Mizuki.

Being polite I spoke. "Oh hi Mizuki sensei, do you need something?" Smiling at me he spoke.

"Not really I just wanted to see how you're holding up." Shaking my head from side to side I answered.

"Meh I've been better, but I'll be fine. I'm just a little disappointed is all, but I know I'll pass next time Datteboyo!" _No really I really do know that._ Unable to read my thoughts Mizuki scratched his chin before speaking.

"Well I'm not really supposed to say anything… but I do know of a way for you to make genin." Blinking I was inwardly tensing in suspicion but I had to keep up my mask.

"Really?! Then please! Please! Tell me!" Smiling he started speaking.

"Well I'm not really supposed to say… but I'll make an exception this time. You see you have to…"

"Then he told me to steal the scroll of sealing s from you, and learn something from it in order to become a genin." Currently I was in the Hokage tower talking to the Hokage. Now he was pretty old with an almost bald head. Really the only hair he had was the pointed triangles coming from the sides of his head, along with his pointy beard. He also had many wrinkles on his face, along with a wart on the side of his nose. He was also wearing his Kage robes. Which consisted of a white haori, over a red long robe. It also had a white conical hat with the front middle being colored red. It also had the kanji for fire on it in black.

Currently he was also smoking his pipe as he sat behind his large desk. Which also had tons of paperwork on it… it was kind of a running joke now. It was if the fighting doesn't get you… then the paperwork will. He was actually the third Hokage. With the fourth being Naruto's dad, who no longer was alive. Since he was the one to seal Kurama into Naruto, and also messed up the seal a bit thanks to Kurama. You see the giant fox didn't like the idea of being sealed again. So he may have stabbed both him and his wife with his claws trying to get to Naruto. Yeah that kind of messed up the sealing process.

Back to the present! Right now the old man was thinking on how to use my information against Mizuki. He then looked at me and gave me a sly smile. I couldn't help but gulp knowing that this wasn't going to be fun for me…

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

The lights went back on and I made the scene go back to normal. Looking at all of you I shook my head.

"And there you have it. Well at least most of it, other details includes me practicing Fuinjutsu, and using gravity and resistance seals to increase my physical abilities. I also didn't talk about my swords, but that's for later. There was also the experiments I did with elemental chakra. That was fun since I combined tons of things and then settled for boiling water and ice."

 **[You also didn't talk about taking the scroll of sealing as bait, and then using the opportunity to look through the scroll so you could learn those techniques later.]** I palmed my left hand before speaking in realization.

"You're right! I also didn't say anything about Iruka showing up believing the false alarm, only to be attacked by Mizuki. Who is now doing a monologue. Which is the worst! But I suppose we can get back to what's actually happening now."

 **[Yeah let's get back to it.]** Then snapping my fingers everything went back to normal and I was in my original position. With Kurama nowhere in sight. Looking up at Mizuki I sighed before rolling up one of my sleeves slightly. This revealed a tattoo of sorts; this was a seal I made using fuinjutsu.

I then pushed a little chakra into it, then with a puff of smoke a small crossbow appeared in my hand. It was black and already had a dart loaded into it. Though because I timed it when Mizuki had his eyes closed, and laughing manically he didn't notice. However the wounded Iruka did, but didn't say anything. Taking a small breath I aimed at him and fired.

Still laughing he only noticed when the dart was in his neck. Yelling out in pain he used his left hand to pull it out. He looked at it curiously before he began to sway. It was then that I started talking.

"You know you should really pay more attention. If you had then maybe I wouldn't have been able to hit you with one of my sleeping darts. So one last thing before you go to bed. I already knew about the Kyuubi this whole time." His eyes widened as he went to his knees but I wasn't done. "Yeah… so basically everything you said has no merit to me. Plus… I failed the exam on purpose; I just didn't want to be on a certain team. Still thank you for exposing yourself you moron."

He was about to yell at me, probably to curse me. But then his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell forward off the branch he was on. I didn't bother checking on him as I turned to Iruka. Taking off my mask I spoke.

"Well that was a thing and a half. Though I must say that I'm glad that the Hokage gave me this mission. It was entertaining." Looking at me he shook his head before speaking.

"You must be the only student in the history of the academy, who failed on purpose. Though I should've expected it really, I mean I knew you could've done the bunshun. Still close your eye I have something for you." Looking at him strangely I eventually did what he asked. I then felt some movement and then something get tied around my head. "Alright you can open them." Doing so I noticed that Iruka's headband was off and now on me. I could only blink before he spoke again.

"Congratulations you graduate. I also expect you show up for team placements, consider it a punishment for failing on purpose." Again I blinked before yelling.

"NOOOOOO!"

 _ **Introductory end… Lessons to take form this… with Kurama and Hermit**_

 _Location academy_

You see a smaller Kurama and a smiling Hermit standing side by side in the academy classroom.

Hermit than clears his throat and speaks. "Well that was interesting… now let's start with the lesson learned. Kurama?"

He smiled before speaking. **[Lesson one accept your lot in life...]** Hermit nods sagely before speaking.

"True words… I mean we accepted that we are trapped in a body with no way out. Plus we accepted that mostly everyone hated me." Kurama nods before speaking again.

 **[Lesson two be discreet… I mean what's the point of being amazing if your opponent knows everything about you, and then prepares to counter everything you can do?]**

"Again wise words, now lesson three don't be an idiot… You're a ninja, learn your limits and don't underestimate you opponent."

 **[This went in two different ways. One where we ran away from the spandex duo, and the other was when Mizuki clearly underestimated us. Which leads to lesson number four…]**

"Don't monologue! Don't talk about your skills, don't brag about you plan, don't announce you techniques. Just kill the enemy in front of you. You're a ninja for heaven's sake! Act like it instead a bloody super hero or villain!" Nodding his head Kurama agrees.

 **[Yeah but now for lesson number five. Don't be too afraid to experiment. Having a blood line only gives you an advantage when it comes to elemental chakra. If you really want to… just go ahead and mix earth, water, lightning, fire, and wind and see what happens.]** Hermit rubs the back of his head at Kurama's words before speaking.

"I wouldn't recommend it though… I mean without Kurama's ultra-healing ability I probably would've died in that attempt. Still if you can't do elemental try altering or creating different non-elemental jutsu's. Who knows? You might just become the next second Hokage. A man known for making tons of Jutsu."

 **[So true… still that's everything for today. Make sure to review these lessons and learn from them. As for now…]**

" **[Good bye!]** "

 **Slayer: Well introductory chapter is done.**

 **Shadow: Yeah… but this was a strange one even for you.**

 **Judan: I have to agree although this does have potential. Although a lot of people are going to come for your head. You know… since Naruto is dead.**

 **Hermit: It's not my fault!**

 **Slayer: We never said it was! But yes, I can agree that some people might not like this. But this is my attempt at making a logical ninja. Even more so than Shikamaru.**

 **Shadow: Even if he can be a bit… strange?**

 **Slayer: Yes… even with that. Still the Kekki Genkai is a unique one I've come up with! And yet they don't even realize that it is a bloodline.**

 **Kurama: Tell us!**

 **Slayer: No! Figure it out yourself!**

 **Hermit: At least give us a hint.**

 **Slayer: Fine… it has something to do with his mindscape there the end.**

 **Shadow: Oh I get it…**

 **Judan: Me to! But that's only because he just told us!**

 **Everyone: Uhh…**

 **Judan: Let's wrap this up!**

 **Hermit: Okay… well this has been a Dark Guard production now signing off!**

 **Everyone: Goodbye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Slayer: Welcome back to a new chapter!**

 **Judan: Couldn't help but make this eh?**

 **Slayer: Of course not! I'm not doing this for anyone but myself! I'm just planning on having fun with this! That means you person that flamed me earlier! But seriously what's the point of flaming? I mean do you get some type of fulfilled feeling from do it? I mean if you hate the story just don't read it. But besides that I'm feeling pretty good about this chapter. Also One1ovesJp thanks for being interested I'll try and make sure this keeps up with expectations.**

 **Fu: Well I'm glad you're happy then.**

 **Shadow: Uh who is this?**

 **Hermit: A new character, she'll be showing up soon enough. But for right now she's just part of the chat.**

 **Chomei: So true!~**

 **Kurama: Oh no…**

 **Chomei: Onii-Chan! It's good to see you!**

 **Shadow: Don't worry I understand how you feel my foxy friend.**

 **Kurama: That doesn't really help me…**

 **Hermit: Just ignore it for now then.**

 **Judan: Right… Well what I want to know is why the hero of the story has homicidal tendencies.**

 **Slayer: Who ever said he was a good guy?**

 **Shadow: Wait what?**

 **Slayer: Well if I'd have to give him an alignment it'd be… Lawful evil, though depending on his mood he could be neutral good.**

 **Judan: Huh… first time a character like that is a main. Well at least a first for us.**

 **Slayer: Right. So who wants to end the chat now that we're done?**

 **Chomei: I'll do it! Now we here at the Dark Guard productions own nothing but OC's and reality building concepts. Everything else belongs to their respective owners. Now without further ado…**

 **Everyone: Here's the story!**

Hello= Regular talk

 **[Hello]= Kurama out loud**

 **{Hello}= Kurama's thoughts**

 **(Hello)= other Biju**

' _Hello'_ _Hermit talking to Biju with thoughts_

 _Hello= Hermits Thoughts_

" **[Hello]** "= Kurama and Hermit talking

(J/N)= Judan Notes

(S/N)= Slayer notes

Teams, Sisters, and Missions: Part one

Giving out a long sigh, I adjusted the headband that I had ended up tying around my left bicep. Currently I was making my way to Higarashi's a ninja equipment store. I had ordered some new clothes to replace my orange monstrosity. But the reason I was sighing was that people were whispering and glaring at me. Some were talking about me cheating to become a ninja, while others were talking about how bad it was that the _demon_ became a genin.

As I said before I didn't really care, so the real reason I was sighing was because tomorrow was team placements. In other words I'd have to be on one of my classmates teams. Sure there was a few I was fine with… such as Shino the stoic bug man, Hinata the quiet yet strong kunoichi, Choji the "big boned" yet strong muscle man, and even Shikamaru the lazy genius. But most of them I'd rather light on fire than team up with them.

So lost in my thoughts I didn't realize that I was outside my destination, until I looked up. Smiling I stepped inside and walked into ninja paradise. Truly Higarashi's had everything I could want. Throwing weapons, sealing scrolls of all sizes, melee weapons, sealing tags, and what I was here for… ninja gear and outfits. You see last week after my forced graduation, I came here to talk to the owner in getting me a customized outfit. By paying a little extra I was able to get him to complete it by today. To be honest I was a little excited.

"How can I help you today?" Turning to the source of the voice I saw a cute girl a year older than this body. She was wearing a pink Chinese shirt with black form fitting pants. She also had brown hair that was styled to look like panda ears. She also had brown eyes.

So smiling at her I spoke. "Actually I was wondering if the owner of the shop was in. You see I had ordered something and he said it would be ready by today." Her eyes lit up in recognition before speaking.

"Ah… that's right my father did say something about a boy in orange coming by to pick something up." I couldn't help but groan when she mentioned my current clothes. Seeing my reaction she giggled a bit before continuing. "Don't worry your new clothes are done, so you don't have to worry about wearing _that_ ever again. Just wait a bit and I'll be right back. Oh yeah! My names Tenten by the way." Smiling back to her I spoke.

"It's nice to meet you Tenten I'm Naruto Uzumaki, but I prefer Hermit." She looked at me strangely before shrugging, and moving to the back of the store. While waiting around I browsed the wears. Now while it was true that I had stocked up the last time I was here, I still liked weapons.

 **[I do admit to a certain appeal to swords when you use them… But I really like your more, explosive abilities.]** Chuckling at Kurama's words I waited a few more minutes. After five minutes Tenten came back with a green storage scroll and a piece of paper.

"Alright here's your order, now all I need for you to do is sign this and then we're good to go." Nodding my head I went over to the counter and looked through the paper she had. Nodding my head I signed it and picked up the scroll. I then turned to her before speaking.

"Thank you, and please give my thanks to your father on making this so quickly." Tenten smiled at me before answering.

"Yeah no problem I'll make sure to tell him, just make sure to come back again." Smiling I left the store while waving goodbye. After I was a little ways away from the store, I opened up the scroll and checked it over. Nodding to myself I pocketed it before heading on over to Ichiraku's, it was time for a little treat!~

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

I was back in the academy, and I was currently smirking behind the actual mask I was wearing. All around me everyone was either ignoring me, or whispering about me. Yeah thing is about having a fox sealed in your gut… your senses were a bit stronger. Still I was now in my battle ninja clothes. And I say battle because I have a few outfits for different occasions. My battle outfit consisted of a pair of thick pants stuffed into black boots. I was also wearing a grey long sleeved shirt, with a high collar that also acted as a face mask. Then over it I wore a black trenchcoat, which had many hidden pockets for me to take out weapons and scrolls.

It also came with a hood which I had up covering my trademark hair. I also was wearing black leather gloves, with metal plates on them for protection. Then attached to my back was a container that had five handles sticking out of the end. The container was two feet long and about six inches wide. This suggested that the blades it held were both short and thin. Though that wouldn't be a problem for me.

Then finally I had on a mask which covered my eyes and cheeks. It was white with red and black lines for decoration. But the eyes had yellow lenses covering them, although it was only yellow on the outside. While looking through them they were as clear as day.

 **[Despite being sealed by it… I must admit fuinjutsu is impressive.]** I chuckled quietly at his words, since that was what I used to make it so I saw things clearly. As I waited for Iruka to show up I ended up passing the time talking to Kurama. Mostly about plans for the future, I mean we still had to deal with Madara eventually. He was the person who made Kurama attack the village in the first place after all. Not that I particularly blame him that is… Almost everyone in this village is either a pervert, asshole, or even just insane. Need proof… just look at Guy!

Eventually I heard the door open. Looking over to it I rolled my eyes at seeing who it was. One was Sakura; she had pale skin and long pink hair. She also wore a red battle type dress, which had a long front and back but kept her thighs exposed.

Or at least it would if she wasn't also wearing tight black shorts. She also had a kunai holster on her right thigh. Also on her feet were Shinobi sandals. Personally I didn't like sandals… they just felt too exposed. Sakura was also using her headband as a hairband, keeping her hair back.

The other person had pale blonde hair and blue eyes. She had her hair done up with a ponytail. She also had a long strand of hair that came out on the right side of her head. She wore a purple sleeveless shirt that stopped above her naval. Although she was wearing bandages, these bandages ran down her legs acting as shorts. As such she was a purple version of Sakura's skirt. Then around her neck hung her headband loosely.

This girl was Ino Yamanaka. As such she was part of the clan that was famed for mind jutsu. Something I was particularly afraid of. I mean it wasn't like they'd jump into my head, to find out that the seal on the Kyuubi was broken or anything... Okay fine so I ripped off the seal that contained Kurama sue me! But it was the only way for him to truly help me when I need it. And it's not like he's done anything, really he's a trust worthy friend in my book.

 **[Said book only has about five names in it you know…]** I unfortunately couldn't refute his claims. Hearing some sounds I looked to my right to see Sakura. Wondering what she was doing she spoke before I could question her.

"Move it! I want to sit next to Sasuke Kun!" Blinking I turned to my left to indeed find the brooder sitting next to me. Silently I wondered what I should do…

' _Okay A I don't move giving Sasuke some peace, or B I move and let him get mauled by fangirls… choices, choices…'_ I heard a snort from Kurama before he spoke.

 **[Come on the answer should be obvious!]** Smiling beneath my mask I agreed with him.

' _Mauled by fangirls it is!'_ So not saying anything I got up and moved to another seat altogether. Just in time to avoid being ran over by the rest of his fanclub. Smiling inwardly at all of them fighting I just went back to talking to Kurama.

Eventually when Iruka did come in, the person sitting next to Sasuke ended up being Sakura. Apparently she won the slap fight between them all. Still I tuned out Iruka and his whole speech about being true ninja now, until he started naming teams. The first few teams meant little to me until…

"Naruto Uzumaki!" I perked up at this; however everyone else was looking around for me. Still Iruka only winked at me before continuing. "Sakura Haruno! And Sasuke Uchiha. Your Jonin instructor will be Kakashi Hatake!" I couldn't help but stare at him while Sakura cheered. Iruka though just smirked at me, having known what I'd be wearing today for quite some time. Still the smirk was one you gave someone after you pulled one over on them.

Really the only thing I could do was shake my fist at him. Ignoring my silent threat he went back to naming the other teams. But I didn't care, seeing how I was talking to Kurama about killing the other two and hiding the bodies.

Eventually though everyone but me, Sakura, and Sasuke left with their teachers. This caused me quite a bit of irritation, although the name Kakashi did remind me of something…

 **[Wait didn't that Might Guy person mention a Kakashi before? I'd check but… I really don't want to relive that moment…]** I couldn't really help but agree with Kurama on that.

"Hey!" Turning my head towards the voice I saw Sakura talking to me. She seemed a bit angry, yet curious as she spoke. "Can I ask what you are doing here? This is for team seven; shouldn't you have gone with your team?" At this I couldn't help but chuckle making even Sasuke look at me. Stopping I let my hood down and took off both my masks showing my face. The faces they had when they realized it was me, was hilarious. I couldn't help but burst out laughing along with Kurama in my mindscape. I only stopped as Sakura yelled at me.

"Hey what's the big idea you idiot?! What are you trying to do look cool?!" She then reared her fist back to punch me, however at the last moment I replaced myself with Sasuke. Now normally this would never work, after all a ninja only had to flare his chakra to escape something like that. However he never knew what hit him, Sasuke just didn't expect it. Also I realized that surprisingly, Sakura actually had a lot of strength in her arm. Once her fist hit his face he was sent backwards, and out like a light he was. The fangirl didn't even realize what she did until I spoke.

"Now what on earth did he do to deserve that?" Blinking she looked back at me and my fake concerned face, and then looked at what she hit.

"Sasuke!" She then knelt down next to him and held him to her crying her eyes out. "Speak to me! Why did this have to happen?!" I couldn't help but say a sarcastic remark at that.

"Because you hit him?" It was at this time that the door to the classroom opened. Of course since Sasuke was unconscious, and Sakura was fussing over him they didn't notice. However I did turn to see who stepped in. He had spiky gravity defying grey hair and had on a mask much like my lower one. However he also had his headband covering his left eye. He was also wearing the standard Shinobi attire. But his eye also looked rather lazy, although at this time he was watching the scene rather confused. Turning to look at me he questioned me.

"And what exactly happened here?" I shrugged as Sakura continued to cry Sasuke's name. The man continued to look at the scene before sighing.

"This team is going to take a lot of work won't it?" Deciding to be honest I answered his question.

"Yeah probably." He only gave me a look before speaking.

"Meet me up on the roof in ten minutes." He then disappeared in a swirl of leaves. I didn't even give it a second thought, instead turning to the scene in front of me. Shaking my head I spoke loudly.

"Sasuke your brother's back and he's on the roof." Immediately he woke up and ran off towards the roof, shortly followed by Sakura. Shaking my head I shunshined (figured out how to spell it) to the roof, where I saw our sensei reading an orange book. Looking up we stared at each other before he slowly closed his book and coughed. I actually recognized the book; it was Icha Icha a rather infamous book series that really only perverts read. Turning away I sat down and waited for the others.

Eventually we had everyone now on the roof. But my other so called teammates were glaring at me with utter hate. But I suppose the feeling was mutual, after all I didn't necessarily like them either. In fact if I thought that me and Kurama could get away with it, I'd burn down the village. Still the glaring got Kakashi to look at us strangely before speaking.

"Alright I can see this is off to a good start. Now how about we get to know each other a bit. You know state your name, talk about things you like, things you hate, and even hobbies and goals." At this Sakura spoke up.

"How about you go first just to give an example Sensei." I couldn't help but sigh at her words. Because seriously they were pretty easy instructions. As for our sensei he just scratched his cheek before speaking.

"Me? Well my name is Kakashi Hatake. What I like well… I like lots of things. As for what I don't like… I've never really thought about it. As for hobbies, I don't feel like telling you. As for dreams well I'll think about it." When he finished Sakura whispered to Sasuke.

"He only really told us his name."

"Hn…" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his reply. You see me and Kurama; actually believe that the true Uchiha language was originally built around grunts. The one Sasuke did was one of agreement.

My thoughts were interrupted by our sensei. "Alright now how about you white hair?" Frowning at the nickname I decided to follow his example. _Two can play at this game…_

"Well grey hair my name was or is Naruto Uzumaki, but I prefer Hermit for undisclosed reasons. As for everything else… I'll get back to you on that." I smiled when I finished making Kakashi begrudgingly nod his head in respect. Of course the other two didn't know what was going on. As such they just glared at me in confusion.

Turning to Sakura Kakashi continued. "Alright pinkie it's your turn." She scowled a bit at her nickname but spoke anyway.

"My name is Sakura Haruno, and I like..." She turned to look at Sasuke and blushed. "My hobbies are…" She then squealed before continuing. "My dream for the future is… Ehhh!" Me and Kakashi couldn't help but sweatdrop at her antics.

"Alright… so what about things you don't like." Her answer was immediate.

"NARUTO!" My reply was a single sound.

"Meh…" She glared at me before turning to Sasuke. Whom was insulted by Kakashi as well.

"Okay so now it's your turn duck but." I couldn't help but snort as the Uchiha scowled at our sensei. But he still spoke.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha, and I hate many things. I also don't particularly like anything. As for my dream… it isn't a dream because I'll make it a reality. I will restore my clan, and kill a certain someone. Thus bringing back the Uchiha's honor." I couldn't help but give him a dry look at that. While Sakura's face was one of endearment, and Kakashi's was one of thought.

Then shaking his head he spoke. "Alright now I'm afraid I have some bad news…" That got everyone's attention. "You see I'm afraid you're not actually genin yet." This quickly got Sakura riled up.

"What! What do you mean?! Isn't that what the final test was for?" Sasuke again grunted in agreement but I kept silent as Kakashi spoke.

"Sorry but that was a test to see if you could pass the actual test. The one I'll be giving you. And unfortunately this test has a sixty six percent chance of failure." While that got the other two to look at him wide eyed I cheered while saying…

"Yes! Then there's still a chance of me not being on this team!" Everyone just looked at me strangely before Kakashi continued.

"Yeah… okay then… well yes the chance of failure is high. But that is just the life of a ninja. Now meet me tomorrow at training ground thirteen at seven. And you shouldn't eat anything, or else you might puke."

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

The next morning I ate a big breakfast, mostly because I knew it'd be stupid not to. I also decided to arrive four hours late, mostly because I knew that our sensei would be late as well. Arriving I was immediately shouted at by Sakura.

"You're late!" Looking at her I shrugged before looking around. The training ground was fairly nice. It had a river in the back, and was surrounded by forest. There were also three large posts hammered into the ground. And by posts… I mean logs. Then a little bit away from them was the memorial stone. On it was written every name of every ninja that has been KIA.

 **[A lot of the recent ones are from me… But oh well I guess you win some you lose some.]** Talking to Kurama I comforted him.

' _Don't worry partner we'll take down the one who did this eventually.'_

 **[Yeah I guess, I just hope it's soon.]** Mentally agreeing with him I made my way towards the others, just in time for Kakashi to shunshin in.

Sakura quickly yelled at him. "You're late!"

He did he tried to apologize. "Sorry I'm late, but you see a black cat crossed my path. So I had to take the long way around." Sakura was the only one who yelled at him.

"You're lying!" I just shook my head before turning to Kakashi. He rubbed the back of his head before speaking.

"Well you got me, but let's get down to business." He then took out a timer from his back pouch and stuck it on a tree stump before continuing. "Now then the objective is simple." He took out two bells before speaking again. "You must take these bells from me within an hour. Sound simple enough?" As usual Sakura was the first to question him.

"But sensei there are only two bells. What happens to the person who doesn't get one?" Eye smiling at her Kakashi answered her.

"Oh that's simple!~ The one who doesn't get the bell gets tied to one of those posts. Of course there is a chance that none of you get one. But still the one who doesn't get a bell gets sent back to the academy." His voice became serious at the end, causing the other two to stiffen while I just smirked. Of course no one could see my face under my mask so no one questioned me.

Sakura though protested. "But that's not fair! You can't just do that!" Kakashi quickly answered her.

"And why not? I'm in charge here so my rules go. Now we start when I say go, also come at me with the intent to kill. That means you can use kunai, shuriken, or anything else."

Again Sakura spoke. "But sensei those are dangerous you could get hurt!" I couldn't help but snort at this. This made everyone look at me as I spoke.

"Sakura are you sure you're the smartest Kunoichi out of our class? Because what you said was very dumb." She quickly got angry at me with what I said.

"What do you mean by that?! If anyone's dumb it's you! I mean you got the lowest scores in the class." I couldn't help but laugh for a bit causing her to back up.

When I stopped I spoke again. "Sakura… I purposely got those scores. In fact I knew I'd be on this team so I purposely tried to fail the final test. But you can see how well that worked out can't you? Now as for why what you said was dumb… Sakura, Kakashi sensei is a jonin, JONIN. Tell me what can us genin do to hurt him? I mean I probably could, but you two are in a rather hopeless situation." She was about to retort when Kakashi cut her off.

"Okay that's enough of that. Now we begin in three… two… one… go!" With that Sasuke and Sakura jumped away to hide somewhere. However I could easily sense them, which meant that Kakashi could as well. Of course with me staying my sensei decided to question me.

"Aren't you going to hide as well." I shook my head before speaking.

"What would be the point? I already figured out the true test, and I know the others won't listen to me. So really I just want to test me skills against an elite of the village." Kakashi hummed before nodding his head and speaking.

"I see your point… Still based on your words, I can tell that you really did figure out the point of all this. A shame really… but then again maybe another year in the academy won't be so bad. Still are you sure you want to fight me one on one?" My answer was to bring up my left hand in a half tiger seal. Seeing my action he got into a defensive stance before narrowing his eye. I just smirked before using one of my own jutsu.

Kakashi's eye widened as he saw multiple birds of ice appear around me. I couldn't help but smirk before turning my half tiger seal into a half ram seal. Then all at once the birds of ice flew at him. Moving quickly he got out a kunai from his pouch and started deflecting the multiple ice birds. At this I couldn't help but smirk before bringing up my right hand and completing the ram seal. Seeing the hand sign Kakashi's eye bulged as I spoke.

"Now remember… art is an explosion!" (J/N Cue sneeze from Deidara.) Then all at once the ice birds exploded, leaving a cloud of ice in the air. Once it cleared there was snow all over the ground. However my sensei was nowhere to be found. And not seeing any sign of substitution I knew where he was. Acting quickly I grabbed the handle of one of my swords and unsheathed it. The handle was only six inches long and covered in red cloth. The blade however was needle like and ended in a fine point. The width at the base was only an inch.

Holding the blade with both hands, I sent raiton chakra through it. I then stabbed the blade into the ground sending out an electric current. I couldn't help but smirk after I saw Kakashi quickly jump out of the ground in order to avoid being electrocuted. Also judging by the way he was looking at me, it was easy to tell he was reevaluating me.

He then spoke with an eye smile. "I admit that I was skeptical at first, when the Hokage told me about your real skill. But now I guess this is just proof of it. Still I hope you can show me more." Smirking I bent my body back while inhaling deeply. I then moved my body forward while exhaling. This ended up releasing a fire ball at my sensei. He acted quickly and dodged the flaming projectile. Seeing this I took out another sword and charged forward. Seeing me coming he took out two kunai to prepare for the incoming fight. Seeing this I smirked behind my mask. Then I coated my second blade with fuuton chakra giving it a superb cutting edge.

He didn't notice until I cut through his kunai like butter. Again his eye widened as I went in to stab him with my right blade. However his years of experience showed when he narrowly dodged my attack. Then once again as I tried to hit him with my left. Thus began our deadly dance, as I turned around and lashed out with my left again.

Again he dodged to the right and avoided it. Smiling behind my mask I decided to step it up a notch. Quickly I made a shadow clone and let him jump over me and attack my sensei. Eye widening he punched the clone causing it to disperse. But I wasn't done yet; making another it attacked him as the clone made another as soon as it was hit. Seeing a clone behind him and me in front he jumped up from our combined jabs and kicked out with his legs. Seeing it coming I made another clone and switched with it. Both clones poofed out of existence as I slashed at him midair.

Seeing it coming he twisted his body out of the way, but just barely. Not letting up I quickly turned around to block a kunai thrust from him. I then let go of my left sword and took out another to attack with. Not expecting me to do that he leaned back to avoid my upper slash. However as my original sword fell I kicked it up back at him with my left boot. Again he barely dodged as I struck again. This time I managed a hit, it was small but as he jumped back there was now a small cut on his sleeve. Seeing this I grabbed my falling blade and sheathed it. Both of us were now breathing harder.

Still I knew I could not beat Kakashi on my own like this. So far it's only been thanks to my many surprises that have kept him on his toes. But I just didn't have enough experience in live combat to keep up forever. That was one of my major flaws. Still he looked rather impressed by me. So I decided to keep it up. Moving quickly I jumped back and pushed my arms forward. While doing so I sent a large amount of wind chakra out. This created a giant force of wind that was sent towards Kakashi. Unable to dodge he instead moved his arms to cover his face, while he was blasted back by the powerful gust of wind.

 **[Whew! Fuuton great breakthrough indeed! It's been a while since we last used that one. But maybe you put too much chakra in it? After all he might come back** _ **after**_ **the bell rings.]** I couldn't help but rub the back of my head sheepishly before responding.

' _Yeah… but I was actually thinking of trying to convince the other two to help. I mean even if it doesn't work at least I can say I tried. After all I'm not a Nara, which means I should put in some effort to try and pass.'_ I then heard the sound of footsteps. _'Speaking of the others…'_ Turning around there was none other than the gobsmacked faces of Sasuke and Sakura.

 **[Hahahaha! There we go! That's the faces we wanted to see!]** I chuckled in agreement before speaking to my "team".

"Well that could've gone better, but I guess I at least bought us a few minutes. Still we should probably team up because even I wasn't able to get a bell." The other two blinked at my suggestion before Sasuke got mad.

"Dobe that doesn't matter at this point. Instead how about you tell us how you got so strong!" Sakura just nodded her head in agreement.

Now I was irritated and was about to snap at them, saying something about not having time for this or what not. But then I got an idea.

"Okay how about we make a deal then?" My question caught him off guard but he still let me continue. "The deal is if you two help me with Kakashi, not only will I tell you my training regimen. But I'll also give you one jutsu to learn. How does that sound?" Both seemed to ponder this for a bit while I was inwardly laughing.

 **[Wow you evil, evil man! There's no way they can use our training methods, and the jutsu is something they'll learn eventually anyways!]**

' _I know! But it'll be fun seeing them seething while trying to get the techniques down.'_ Now it wasn't so much that I don't like Sakura and Sasuke it's just that I… that I hate them. Still wouldn't be enough me to abandon them, but I wasn't about to help them get stronger until they're ready to be actual ninja. But right now Sakura is a fangirl, and Sasuke is an avenger not a ninja.

Now the reasons as to why I'm trying to pass the test with them, instead of failing on purpose are rather simple. It is because Kakashi is a very skilled shinobi, a high A ranked ninja close to S. So training under him could only help me. Because I'm at most a high B rank, and that's with my training seals off. But mostly I'm at a mid B rank with the seals. Although I could become an S with Kurama's help. Now the other reason is because I believe that he could actually help these two out. Get them to actually take being a ninja seriously.

So for that I'm willing to work with them, but still our sensei is going to have his hands full. Still if they happened to get themselves killed anytime soon… well it at least wouldn't be my fault.

Now having thought it over Sasuke spoke. "Alright I'll help you, but me and Sakura get the bells just in case only two of us really can pass." Sakura nodded her head at that while I couldn't help but agree.

"That seems fair enough, I mean it is my idea so if it fails then I should take the fall. Now then onto planning does anyone know any Doton jutsu? Because that's literally the only thing I can't use at this moment." Doton or earth release is always something I've had trouble with for some reason. But me and Kurama just guess that I have absolutely no affinity for it. You see there are five chakra natures. Lightning or raiton, earth or doton, fire or katon, water or suiton, and my personal favorite wind or fuuton. Now unlike most others I have slight affinities for all but earth. While most just have a good affinity for one element.

This is both a disadvantage and advantage. An advantage because I can learn four types of elemental jutsu easier. But a disadvantage, because I need to spend more chakra trying to use those jutsu then those with stronger affinities. However with a mass of chakra in my gut, my dense chakra, and my above average chakra reserves and control… I can get by easily enough. Now usually I use fuuton, suiton, and raiton. But I can also use ice chakra or hyouton, and make boiling chakra which I don't know the words for. Now hyouton is a combination between fuuton and suiton. While boiling chakra is suiton and katon.

Now while I can use these types of releases, it takes triple the amount of chakra a person with a regular Kekki Genkai or bloodline limit needs. That's mostly because I don't form the chakra naturally in my body. This is why I only used my exploding ice bird's trick once. Though if need be I can go further, however the more complex a jutsu the more handseals I have to use. Though for easy and simple jutsu's I don't need them. Such as the fireball jutsu I did earlier

Still I can't use doton yet, which is the reason I'm asking them if they know any earth jutsu. However their answer was disappointing.

Sakura answered first. "No sorry I don't have any."

"Hn…" That was Sasuke saying no… probably. I don't exactly speak Uchiha fluently. Still I had to think fast; more than likely Kakashi is back in the area watching us. Luckily Kurama came to my rescue.

 **[Well we haven't used genjutsu yet… so why don't you try something with that? We do excel in that area you know.]** I instantly agreed however with my current skill level, I'd have to use my strongest illusion on him for it to work.

' _And I'll be forced to stand in a single place while I use it. Then again…'_ I looked over to the other two awaiting my plan before smirking under my mask. _'That's what meat shie… I mean teammates are for right?'_ So straightening I whispered to my now willing compatriots.

"Okay guys here's the plan, I have a genjutsu I can use. However I'll need you two to actually go and grab the bells. Because unfortunately I can't move while using it. But first we need to draw him out of hiding. All in favor of burning down the forest?" They just stared at me blankly before Sasuke came up with a different idea.

"How about instead of being charged for arson, which I admit could work. How about we…" He was interrupted as a mass of throwing weapons came at us. Acting quickly I used a smaller great breakthrough, to block the attack. That was when Kakashi appeared in front of me and tried kicking me in the stomach. However I was able to replace myself with a nearby log.

 _All praise the mystical log_! His lone eye narrowed as the other two jumped back. Seeing this as an opportunity, I went through five handseals before activating my genjutsu.

 _Ox, monkey, dog, tiger, serpent!_ Soon enough it was in effect. This made him freeze in his current position while I yelled to the others.

"Now quickly grab the bells! I can't hold this one forever!" Acting quickly they ran up our sensei and quickly snatched up the bells. But not before they heard our sensei talk.

"Too bad it seems you weren't able to get the bells before the timer ran out." Both of them blinked and looked at the bells they were holding, and then back towards the timer that still had fifteen minutes left. They both looked at me for an explanation.

"Don't worry I'm just making it seem as if the timer has already went off. The fact is the more believable an illusion is, the more effective the genjutsu will be." They both nodded their heads in understanding before I lowered my arms. I was now breathing heavily from my use of chakra. You see as I said before most of my best genjutsu affect all the senses. However again they are the most chakra draining. When I dropped it our sensei immediately felt the effects of it. Jumping away from us he saw both Sasuke and Sakura with the bells. However he also noticed me a bit out of breath.

Still he eye smiled at us before speaking. "Well I suppose an explanation on how you got the bells are in order.~" Taking off my masks I answered him.

"Simple really me, and the others decided to team up in order to get the bells. We were even going to come up with a plan to lure you out, so I could use my genjutsu on you. But luckily for us you got impatient and attacked us, so really we didn't need to come up with a plan. Although that might have been your purpose in which case that easily backfired. As for how I did that genjutsu… you'll have to figure that out yourself." Upon finishing I gave him an innocent smile. Once again giving me a strange look he turned to the other two.

As for Kakashi he gave me an eye smile. "Well then I look forward to discovering its secrets as your new team seven sensei!~" For once I couldn't help but give a small smile. "Well then rest up because tomorrow we have our first mission!" He then gave us a thumbs up.

 **[Well there goes all happiness…]** Kurama than grumbled a few things about D ranked missions. Which was something that I could actually agree with.

' _Well hopefully I can get a field promotion quickly enough. I'd rather not spend any significant time as a genin.'_

 _ **How to be a Ninja and Other Details**_

After a brief discussion on our new privileges as genin's, along with where the mission center was we all left to go our separate ways. Sakura went home, Kakashi went to do whatever he does, and Sasuke went off to train. I on the other hand was going to get something to eat first. More precisely I was going to the Akamichi Barbeque. It was a nice place ran by the Akamichi clan hence the name. Now while some people still glare at me when I'm there, it's not nearly as bad as some other places.

 **[Well they more precisely glare at Naruto not so much yourself.]** I chuckled a bit at his words before talking back.

' _Well since I'm the main soul inhabiting this body. I'm more inclined to think that it is mine.'_ He snorted at that.

 **[Whatever you say Hermit, bit no matter what I don't think… Missile coming at you from six O'clock!]** Eyes widening in surprise I turned around… only to be tackled by a black blur. Though it wasn't enough to knock me over, I did have my breath knocked out of me.

"Onii Chan!" Now there was only one person who called me that. So looking down at my attacker I couldn't help but smile.

It was a young girl eight year old girl with long black hair and pale lavender eyes. She was wearing a grey sleeveless shirt with a V-neck. She also wore grey short pants with black ninja sandals. Underneath her grey shirt was a darker grey shirt and a mesh tank top underneath. Now this was Hinnabi Hyuga Hinata's younger sister. Now some of you might be wondering why an heiress to an important clan, would be acting this way towards me.

Well that's simple… it all started at the beginning of the year…

 **[Flashback!]**

' _Yes Kurama they didn't really need for you to say that…'_ Anyways… Naruto's body was a bit shorter then and I had just bought the outfit I'm wearing now. In which case yes I do occasionally buy replacements for my clothes. My current set is actually the third one I've bought so far. But that's off topic, you see I was on my way home when I saw her training out in a field. But what was surprising was that she was all alone. Usually a guard or two would be with her. Or at least I thought so, it was the same with Hinata for quite some time.

However as I watched her I couldn't help but be curious. She was pushing herself rather hard and sweat was pouring down her face. So being the amazingly nice person that I am...

 **[Oh that's a load of crap!]**

' _As I was saying…'_ being the nice person that I was I approached her.

"You know I'm surprised to see a Hyuga heiress out all by herself." Faltering in a juuken strike she turned to me. Oh yeah Hyuga have a dojustu called the byakugan. It allows almost three hundred and sixty degrees of vision. It also allowed them to see a person's chakra network. As such they made the juuken, or gentle fist in order to utilize it efficiently. The style is based off of closing the chakra points in the opponent's body. And to be completely honest… it's probably one of the few taijutsu styles that could really hurt me. Still back the conversation at hand.

Still looking at me she folded her arms before speaking arrogantly. "I can train by myself peasant. I don't need anyone to watch over me, I'm strong enough by myself!" I couldn't help but snort at that making her angry. "What's so funny?! I'll have you know Otou Sama calls me a prodigy in our taijutsu style."

Raising my hands defensively I spoke calmly. "Now I didn't say anything about your skill. The fact is that you're still younger than me, and a prodigy I'm not but stronger I am." She looked at me defiantly before stepping into a stance.

"How about we test that then?" It was then that I saw it. A certain look in her eye that told me she was rather upset about something. Unfortunately she was using the opportunity to take her frustration out on me. Now I had two choice, one I could walk away… or two I could help this adorable little girl. I chose option two.

So stepping into a fighting stance myself I smirked before speaking. "Alright then I'll accept that challenge. And who knows? Maybe I'll actually learn how to counter the Juuken from this little spar." Frowning at me she activated her byakugan. This made a circle appear in her eyes and the veins around them bulge. She then ran at me while I waited to see what she'd do next. Pulling her right arm back she sent a chakra infused jab at my left bicep. Seeing it coming easily enough I moved to her right avoiding the attack all together.

This seemed to surprise her as I flicked her forehead, I also added a bit of chakra behind it. The result was her stumbling backwards as she held her head in pain. However I didn't pursue the advantage, instead I waited until she recovered.

"You need to try and make your attacks not so predictable. Try and throw in fake outs and anticipate your opponents." Glaring at me for my words she charged at me again while speaking.

"I don't need advice from you!" At this she started trying to hit me with multiple juuken strikes. However I easily dodged each of them, and whenever she over extended I flicked her. After ten minutes she collapsed on the ground covering her forehead in pain. Sighing I sat down next to her as she breathed heavily.

"So are you done now?" Removing her hands she looked up at me before nodding. Looking at the dark red spot on her, I sighed before taking out some medical ointment from my ninja pouch. It was something I made from the different plants in the forest of death. Unscrewing the lid I took some onto my finger before speaking again. "This might sting a bit, but it'll help with the swelling." Reaching down I rubbed some on the offended place while she winced. Once I was done I spoke again. "Alright that should do it. Now why don't you tell me why you're really out here by yourself?"

Sitting up she sighed before answering me. "It's because I defeated my sister again…" I couldn't help but frown at that but let her continue. "You see before I started training I always saw her as the most amazing person ever. But ever since we began training together, I kept winning. So all that amazement turned to disappointment, now even my father doesn't see her as anything anymore. I… I just wanted to be alone and vent my frustration. So I snuck out and here we are." I was greatly confused by this, because I know for a fact that Hinata could beat her sister as easily as I did.

 _So why would… AH! I get it now_. Chuckling I put a hand on her head before speaking again.

"You know… Hinata is actually a lot stronger than everyone gives her credit for." She looked at me confused before I elaborated. "You see unlike most people she is gentle and kind. Even during training she doesn't like to actually hurt her sparring partners. And since you're her sister I doubt she'd want to ever hurt you. But if you really want to see her real strength… then try and get her mad or threaten to take her cinnamon buns away. Trust me she's a lot scarier than you might think." I was being completely honest about this. I had saw some moron try and take away her cinnamon treat before and well… he ended up in the hospital for a month.

 **[That was the day we realized that the old saying is true… "it's always the quiet ones"…]**

"Are you sure about that?" Looking back to Hinnabi I nodded my head before giving her an idea.

"If you don't believe me ask someone to try and take her treat away while she's not looking. Then you'll see just how scary she can really be."

Smiling she gave me a hug before jumping up. "Alright I think I'll go give it a try. Thanks for everything Onii Chan!~" She then ran off as I registered what she called me.

 _Onii Chan?_

 **[Flashback End!]**

' _Yes thank you Kurama.'_ Anyways after that she did what I suggested. I could hear the poor man's screams from two miles away… How Hinnabi got him to do the deed in the first place I'll never know. But still it marked the day that the Hyuga, made the decision to never get on her bad side again. And ever since then Hinnabi has looked up to me as an older brother. To be honest I kind of thought of her as a little sister as well.

Also usually the Hyuga would make a fuss over this, but when she told them it was me who gave her the idea about Hinata… well they've decided to just leave me alone.

"So did you pass your test?" Breaking from my thoughts I smiled down to her before answering.

"Of course I did! Did you really have any doubts?"

She gave me a deadpanned look before answering. "You failed the genin test on purpose only to have a forced promotion. So yeah… I had my doubts that you decided to fail on purpose again."

I couldn't help but laugh sheepishly at that. _Cheeky little thing isn't she?_

 _ **Chapter end… Lessons to take form this… with Kurama and Hermit**_

 _Location academy_

You see a smaller Kurama and a smiling Hermit standing side by side in the academy classroom.

Clearing his throat Hermit started speaking. "Alright now time for us to take some lessons from this."

 **[Lesson one… know your chakra affinity.]** Hermit nodded his head before explaining.

"Now as I said I can use all but doton chakra. Something which really pisses me off! Really I'd like to trade in lightning for it! That way I could recreate the Mukuton! Or wood release, the same Kekki Genkai that made the shodai Hokage so powerful.

 **[It was also the reason why he was able to capture and seal me and my siblings away!]**

At his words Hermit laughs nervously. "Hehehe… Well you know that I would never do that, right buddy?"

Kurama looks at him with narrowed eyes before speaking. **[Sure… let's just move onto lesson two. Know the limits of your own chakra. Really it'd be bad if you just ran out in the middle of a battle.]** Nodding his head sagely Hermit speaks up.

"That is so true, so try and conserve your chakra for as long as possible. It could very well save your life."

 **[Lesson three, make sure to keep surprising your opponent. Just one action can turn the tide in your favor.]**

"Yeah like earlier when I kept doing new things that Kakashi couldn't keep up. Ah it's the small things in life…" Kurama looks at Hermit sweat dropping a bit before continuing.

 **[Right… now finally lesson number four. Teamwork does actually help. It doesn't matter if you're a complete monster or a one man army. It's always useful to work together with others.]**

"Yeah ain't that the truth. Really I doubt Madara and the Shodai could stand up against all the Biju working together!" After saying that Hermit and Kurama shiver before speaking again. "Alright what was that?"

 **[I don't know but for some reason I felt a sense of foreboding…]**

"Hmm… Well anyways make sure to review these lessons and come up with your own ideas. We'll be back again with another chapter eventually."

" **[Good bye!]** "

 **Shadow: Well here's another chapter. Also let's watch the scene again. (Sasuke get's punched by Sakura) HAHAHAAH! Oh that gets me everytime.**

 **Hermit: Yeah… it is rather wonderful isn't it?**

 **Hinnabi: You really like violence don't you Onii Chan?**

 **Kurama: And here's the little girl from the chapter. It would seem she has a more important role in this story.**

 **Slayer: Of course! And really I can't wait to see where I take it!**

 **Judan: You're insane you know?**

 **Slayer: Oh don't be like that! You're still plenty crazy as well you know? Especially with Modaga!**

 **Modaga: You called my youthful friends?!**

 **Hermit/Kurama: There's another one!**

 **Judan: Oh yeah… sorry about that I'll… do something about him later.**

 **Slayer: Do something about him now!**

 **Shadow: Yeah! Especially before I completely destroy him!**

 **Hinnabi: Is it always this chaotic here?**

 **Hermit: Mostly…**

 **Shadow: Oh by the Abyss… can we finish this now?**

 **Kurama: Sure we probably should. Hey how would like to send us off Hinnabi?**

 **Hinnabi: Sure! Ahem… This has been a Dark Guard production now signing off!**

 **Everyone: Goodbye!**

 **Guy: (Breaks in) I had sense a disturbance in the youth! Who here has come over to the youthful side?!**

 **Modaga: That'd be me! Please teach me the ways of Youthfulness!**

 **Modaga/Guy: YOUTH!**

 **Shadow: WHY?!**


End file.
